Day 12: Realization

My husband and I got into a disagreement today. I don't know what it is about the dynamic of our relationship but I turn into a crazy woman whenever he is gone. I wonder why he doesn't call, I get mad at him for acting distant when he finally does call me, we bicker about the craziest things, and what's worse is that when he's away my mind plays evil tricks on me-- "you really are better off without him" "see, you would do just fine if he weren't around" etc. It's like I lose my identity. I wrote this all to him in an e-mail this afternoon, and while reading through the e-mail a thought slapped me in the face-- of course you don't handle being without him very well, you're CODEPENDENT! His identity IS YOUR identity. Normally this thought would send me into a dismal cycle of depression, and I would find myself half way through a carton of Edy's. Thankfully the opposite happened. My determination received a gentle boost, and I again saw the urgency behind my quest. It is paramount that I find out who I am so that I can stop being, for lack of better words, crazy. I need to find my sense of purpose. I know that God sent me to this earth for a reason. He has blessed me with unique talents and it would sadden Him if I neglected them.