Setback

Today was actually a really really really bad day. My victim side was raging today. I felt as though the entire world was against me, which I know is completely irrational and just an extremely emotional response, but none the less the gates of Hell opened and seemed to be unleashing all their fury. I scolded myself repeatedly for stewing- "come on! Just stop thinking about it! It's over, just get over it! Focus on something else!" etc. etc. But I couldn't stop. I even tried distracting myself with the idea that my husband and I could go out on a much needed date and that it would be blissful, relaxing, and renewing. Sadly those hopes were shattered as our night began with arguing and ended up with me sitting here in front of the computer at 11:22 at night, instead of nestling in my comfortable bed. I have frazzled myself to the point that my stomach hurts and I resorted to taking a pain killer to numb the pain and anxiety. I keep thinking back to my session the other day- my therapist asked me if I deserve to be loved. If I deserve to be happy. But how do I get there from here?